| What comes to mind when you consider the extreme | | | | but you don’t care because you are invincible! |
| sport of wakeboarding? Gnarly young dudes and | | | | 5. On arriving home from the paintballing session, you |
| dudettes flying through the air holding onto a piece of | | | | realise that your house keys are actually still in the |
| string, screeching in delight/terror as they twist and turn | | | | house and you are hopelessly locked out! The same |
| a glorified ironing board attached to their feet? | | | | wakeboarding gear that saved you at the paintballing |
| Yes, me too! Of course the video replay will be | | | | comes to the rescue again, because you have left an |
| accompanied by the obligatory thrash metal | | | | upstairs window open and you make a lasso from the |
| soundtrack! Stereotypes are us! | | | | Liquid Force wakeboard rope and climb up and swing |
| As “out there” and dangerous as this hobby | | | | into your open window! |
| sport may seem, wakeboarding could in fact save | | | | 6. It’s your wife’s birthday tomorrow and she is |
| your life! Here, in no particular order is a brief list of | | | | a huge fan of huge earrings but because of all the |
| things you probably never considered about | | | | problems you have had this evening, you completely |
| wakeboarding:- | | | | forgot about it! What can you do? A brain wave hits |
| 1. You have been for a relaxing swim in the lake after | | | | you and you call your neighbour who agrees to sell |
| a heavy lunch and start flailing around, clearly in a lot of | | | | you two brand new Hyperlite wakeboards. You attach |
| trouble…how grateful you are to the passing | | | | a bit of chain to one end of each and begin to pray |
| wakeboard dude and his/her boat as they rescue you | | | | that your wife doesn’t think they are just a bit too |
| from impending doom. Life Saved! Although in fact the | | | | big! |
| wakeboarding expert is more than a little annoyed at | | | | 7. At your wife’s birthday party, some boisterous |
| the “washy wake” you have created and | | | | but harmless play from your new wakeboarding |
| explains that he is the one that should be making the | | | | friends leads to the table with all the desserts on being |
| deep water start. | | | | accidentally broken. You salvage most of the dessert |
| 2. Your previous ironing board caught fire and was | | | | but you have to ask your wife if she will lend you one |
| destroyed along with all your underpants when you | | | | of her new wakeboard earrings. She doesn’t want |
| forgot to switch the iron off before work. You have a | | | | to give them up so readily but reluctantly agrees and |
| very important function to attend and all your shirts | | | | hey presto you have your new dessert table! |
| look as though they have just performed the mightiest | | | | 8. The next morning your car won’t start and work |
| of face plants! Fortunately, your next door neighbour is | | | | is more than an hour away, there is no one around |
| a wakeboarding fanatic and offers you his spare | | | | and you know you are on thin ice with your boss |
| wakeboard for your emergency ironing session. | | | | already. You do the only thing you can in this situation |
| 3. You and a friend have spent an afternoon at the | | | | and use the power of your imagination to turn one of |
| local tennis club. Inexplicably, your partners rage at | | | | your wife’s wakeboard earrings into a futuristic |
| losing an important point has resulted in both tennis | | | | hover board that will speed you to work in less than |
| rackets looking like they failed to land a very ambitious | | | | ten minutes, even allowing time for some of the |
| monkey spin. Luckily the wakeboarding club is just next | | | | sickest corked spins ever! |
| door and a brief chat with the supervisor later and you | | | | 9. Once you have been fired for taking the day off |
| return with two wakeboards and continue your tennis | | | | work, you being to wonder how you will pay the bills, |
| match as if nothing was amiss. | | | | but you remember your wife’s Hyperlite’s could |
| 4. An impromptu paintballing session has been | | | | be worth more than $500 each! You breathe a sigh of |
| arranged by your friends. When you arrive, there is no | | | | relief, life saved! |
| protective gear left. You start to panic but then realise | | | | 10. Your interaction with all things wakeboard has |
| you collected your wakeboarding neighbour from a | | | | actually aroused your interest a little, your wife has long |
| championships the night before and he left his gear | | | | since left you and you have become the loneliest |
| (including his brand new impact vest) in your car. Ten | | | | person ever so you decide now is the right time to join |
| minutes later you return, ready for battle. Admittedly | | | | the local wakeboarding club and make lots of new |
| you look like Judge Dredd having a night on the town | | | | friends whilst learning a new sport! Life Saved! |