Enhancing Your Own Personal Happiness

How often have you heard the cry "All I want is to besafe and doing no harm.)I had lots of animals around
happy?" Sometimes this has been followed with,"me, dogs, sheep, and cows. I had wood pigeons and a
Surely, that's not too much to ask for?"bull finch called Hughie Stewart.  I thought that they
Not too much to ask for. This suggests two things forknew me personally and their recognition made me
me. That the person thinks that happiness is anfeel special.
entitlement and that it is someone else's responsibility3.I had the ability to adapt to my surroundings. At home,
to give this or make this for them.I had toys, books, other people's dogs and friends on
I have had various periods throughout life when I wouldmy terms. At Cumberhead, I had lots of animals
say that I have been happy and also other times whenaround and knew where to go to see foxes and
I have been unhappy.badgers. There were wild violets, berries to pick, smell
I began to think about the happiness question andof hay, brooks, opportunity for creative play, and cow
chose to look at my childhood in my quest for aplatters!
possible answer.4. I took what I could from wherever I happened to be.
My maternal grandparents lived on a farm which wasI didn't hanker to go home. When it was time to go
very isolated. It was not on a bus route. After takinghome, sometimes a couple of months later, I looked at
three buses then a taxi we would have to walk thethis as something else to enjoy. I could take pleasure
remainder of the way over fields and dirt tracks to thefrom the moment I was in and not look for the
house. Until I was nearly seven, we spent a great dealproblems.    
of time there. Sometimes my twin sister and our mum5.I was extrovert and creative. I took responsibility for
would go and dad would visit on a weekend. Often itmy own enjoyment, physical and mental stimulation. I
was just my sister and I in the summer for 6-8 weeksinvented games. I developed a scoring     
at a time. The only people we saw were my elderlysystem for jumping in cow platters, based on how
grandparents and an uncle who lived there too.fresh it was the amount of crust on top and number
Other farm hands converged on us when it wasof flies interested. No one was ever angry about the
lambing or dipping time.state I arrived back in. I would sleep during the day so
A grocery van came twice a week, as did a baker.that I could watch the badgers at night. I sometimes
The butcher came once a week and a drapery vanslept in the barn so that I could be with a particular dog
twice a year. That was always a bit of an occasion!or an orphaned lamb.
We had our own cows for milk. I can't recall fish being6.I felt safe. No one was ever angry .Everyone treated
a part of our diet.each other fairly. Animals were respected. I wasn't
There was a television which was switched on foraware of what was happening in the world but I knew
wrestling on a Saturday afternoonand twice a weekI was in control of how my days were and I was
for Crossroads. This was such a big event that wenever bored.
would all getwashed and scrubbed, then change into7.There were large vegetable, fruit, and flower
our best clothes to sit and worship the box forhalf angardens. Egg laying hens, milking cows, sheep. It was
hour.an environment that changed with the season and
We went to bed early and were up early. Papa wouldwas always exciting to me. I was encouraged by as
knock gently on the bedroomwindow and meowedsense of constant springtime. A time of hope and new
pretending to be a kitten. We would always go alonggrowth. Optimism pervaded life.
withthis charade in delight and rise to go find the cat.8. I am sure life for us was different, perhaps even
I was deliriously happy! I am able forty years later tostrange compared with that of our peers, but it had its
recall in vivid detail thisperiod of my life.own structure and a sense of security. I had a sense
To me, life seemed full of texture. Yet, I am sure thatof purpose. My goals were realistic and achievable and
the majority of people wouldhave felt deprived leadingnot influenced by what others were doing or felt I
such a narrow type of existence.should be doing. They did not compromise my values. I
Why was I happy?only wanted to be with "my" animals. I spoke to them
1.I was comfortable with who I was. There was noand enjoyed them at all stages. I was not criticised by
one around to compare myself with either favourablyothers for being so animal orientated. I packed as
or disfavourably.I thought as I wanted to and behavedmuch as I could into my day. I went to bed tired and
as I chose to with no negative feedback from anyone.satisfied each night and looked forward to doing it all
2.I was often alone, but never lonely. I always feltagain the next day.
particularly close to my grandfather and my uncle andIf you are unhappy, it may be beneficial for you to
got the distinct impression that they enjoyed me forreflect on when you were last truly happy. Work out
who I was and I know that even back then I wasthe reasons why and see whether the rules you
somewhat "off the wall!" They were there whenever Iadopted for yourself then can bring you happiness
wanted them but did not intrude on my time or tell meagain now.
what I should be doing (in the knowledge that I was